


Aziraphale tries out Discord

by MusicRose



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Aziraphale Loves Crowley (Good Omens), Book Aziraphale gives 0 shits, Chatting & Messaging, Crack, Crack Crossover, Crowley Being a Bastard (Good Omens), Crowley Loves Aziraphale (Good Omens), Crowley cares not for the 4th wall, F/M, God Ships Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens), Hard to explain, I'm Sorry, M/M, She/Her Pronouns For God (Good Omens), This Is STUPID, Tv Crowley is hip with the youngins, a bit of bastard aziraphale, but also he/him, chatfic, with the book, you will see
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-14
Updated: 2020-04-16
Packaged: 2021-03-02 03:27:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,518
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23648467
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MusicRose/pseuds/MusicRose
Summary: What happens when Crowley helps Aziraphale hook up his old computer to the internet and even introduces him to Discord? Of course he jokingly suggest making a server for the heavenly team...you can guess what goes from there.(This is a mess, not sure how good it is. Had a few ideas I wanted to do. Will be short chapters. Hope you enjoy!)
Relationships: Anathema Device/Newton Pulsifer, Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens), Other Relationship Tags to Be Added
Comments: 5
Kudos: 28





	1. Welcome to the server (Heaven)

**Author's Note:**

> Heyo! Hope somebody likes it! If you have any ideas or just wanna say something, don't be afraid to plop a comment! Have a swell day.

**_Gabriel the Archangel_ ** _ just joined. Everyone, look busy! _

_ Welcome,  _ **_Michael the Archangel._ ** _ Leave your weapons by the door. _

**_Raphael the Archangel_ ** _ just joined. Can I get a heal? _

_ It’s  _ **_Uriel the Archangel!_ ** _ Praise the sun! [T]/ _

**_Sandalphon the Archangel_ ** _ is here, as the prophecy foretold. _

  
  


**Gabriel the Archangel:** Why would you have to appear busy? Aziraphale, what is going on here?

**Azzy the Angel:** Oh! Nothing Gabriel! This is a randomly selected message simply whenever somebody enters the server! Just as the others had different ones as you can see! 

**Gabriel the Archangel:** What nonsense, a simple welcome message would have sufficed. Humans really do the most doltish of things. Why is your name shortened, Aziraphale? We are not ruffians here!

**Azzy the Angel:** Apologies Gabriel, but it turned out to be taken and I had to compromise. I couldn’t use a miracle for such a minor thing is all.

**Michael the Archangel:** Remind me, why are we wasting our time on human contraptions?

**Azzy the Angel:** I had heard of this wonderful program and thought that it would be most efficient! Especially for reports and quick communication in case of emergencies!

**Michael the Archangel:** What is wrong with praying and summoning circles? Are you trying to go against God?

**Azzy the Angel:** Oh, no no! I would never dare such a thing! I just thought it would be a good idea to test out! Both of those take time, sadly and sometimes need to be done multiple times. We could lose a lot of time! And it would help with the papers to have a record of everything.

**Gabriel the Archangel:** I still do not see the use of this, this modern distraction!

**Uriel the Archangel:** I do not know why we cannot give it a try. It will certainly help to have quick communication...It could have a good use for the army once Hell sends the Antichrist. Quick and efficient communication, reaching multiple people at the same time. What is this connection called again?

**Gabriel the Archangel:** Uriel! Why would you go against us like this?! 

**Azzy the Angel:** Ah, the internet dear Uriel! You can use it for other things as well, like looking up information!

**Azzy the Angel:** Though I am a bit discomforted that you first idea is about Armageddon! Shouldn’t we try and retain peace, since Heaven is going to win either way?

**Gabriel the Archangel:** Silence Aziraphale, do you dare doubt the ineffible plan?

**Raphael the Archangel:** I apologize to interrupt Gabriel trying to feel important about his job.

**Gabriel the Archangel:** RAPHAEL WHAT HAS GOTTEN INTO YOU?!

**Raphael the Archangel:** You are God’s messenger, not the leader of the plan. We should not discourage thoughts of peace, and young Aziraphale should be reprimanded in a slightly less horrible manner. He only asked a simple question.

**Gabriel the Archangel:** Do you not remember the last time somebody was asking questions?

**Raphael the Archangel:** We lost many a brother and sister, I know. But I must say that I used said internet to see if it holds any value for us. It seems to host a lot of interesting knowledge.  


**Sandalphon the Archangel:** Aziraphale, a question. Are you up to date with the currents of this internet?

**Azzy the Angel:** Somewhat, yes! I try to stay up to date to help the youth!

**Sandalphon the Archangel:** Quite good! Now I must ask, what is this odd thing? It says something about memes?

**Azzy the Angel:** Oh, humans do quite the things on there. Now, to answer your question!

_ Welcome,  _ **_SnakeInMyPants69._ ** _ We were expecting you ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) _

**SnakeInMyPants69:** I was summoned, your true god and saviour is here.

**Gabriel the Archangel:** Who is this?! And what is it with your horrible name?! And are you impersonating Her? How dare you!

**Michael the Archangel:** Who is this?

**SnakeInMyPants69:** Take a fucking guess Michie B-) i am surprised you didn’t recognize me considering what happened in Eden between us  **( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)**

**Michael the Archangel:** It can’t be

**Azzy the Angel:** Excuse me?!

**SnakeInMyPants69:** Hi sexy 

**Gabriel the Archangel:** Excuse me what?! Michael! Aziraphale, explain yourselfs!

**Sandalphon the Archangel:** I just wanted to know what a meme was, what is this?

**Michael the Archangel:** Apologies, She wishes for a talk with me.

**SnakeInMyPants69:** How very convenient for you. And here I thought you guys could only lie about the big stuff. Like mercy and shit.

**Sandalphon the Archangel:** I just asked a simple question, what is going on?

**SnakeInMyPants69:** That’s what we said before you fucks shut us down and we never got our answers, sooo welcome to Heaven. Where questions don’t matter and everybody loses

**Azzy the Angel:** CROWLEY!

**SnakeInMyPants69:** Not you dearie, you are doing great *pats head*

**Micheal the Archangel:** Why is Sandalphon crying in the corner about blasphemy?

**Uriel the Archangel:** Oh! So it is Tuesday, it was suspicious how calm he had been today.

**Azzy the Angel:** God, why?

**God:** Well it is Tuesday, he needs to cry over something

  
** **MULTIPLE PEOPLE ARE TYPING****


	2. The one where Crowley meets Crowley (Heaven)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> God gets bored and adds Book!Aziraphale and Book!Crowley to the mix. The archangels can only watch in confusion as to what is happening.

**God** _has added_ **God** _to the server_

 **God** _has added_ **Crowley The Demon** _to the server_

 **God** _has added_ **Aziraphale The Angel** _to the server_

**SnakeInMyPants69:** What the fuck

**Azzy the Angel:** Language, Crowley!

**SnakeInMyPants69:** Yeah, yeah Captain America

**Azzy the Angel:** We both know I won’t understand what you just called me, dear boy.

**SnakeInMyPants69:** Yeah but the readers will

**Michael the Archangel:** What is going on?

**Gabriel the Archangel:** God, if I may ask. What is happening?

**God:** I decided to have some fun Might add Megatron later

**Aziraphale the Angel:** Well this is a tad odd. How did I even get here?

**Crowley the Demon:** Is this some sort of cruel and unusual punishment for the Inquisition or is it for the game show

**Uriel the Archangel:** Who even are you two?!

**Crowley the Demon:** Angel do the people Up There not know how to read anymore or is that one just pulling my leg

**Aziraphale the Angel:** Now, that is just mean-spirited! I do believe, they are just miffed by more beings added into this odd messaging service.

**SnakeInMyPants69:** OI! I spent time on this, you have any idea how long it takes to get something with so many disconnects and server issues to become this popular

**Crowley the Demon:** Who even are you

**SnakeInMyPants69:** Hello kettle

**Crowley the Demon:** Answer the fucking question

**SnakeInMyPants69:** Judging by the name you are me you bloody idiot and the other one seems to be the principality

**Raphael the Archangel:** Wait, more demons in this accursed thing?!

**SnakeInMyPants69:** One extra angel too so stop complaining

**SnakeInMyPants69:** Wait Azzy has been oddly quiet

**SnakeInMyPants69:** _@Azzy the Angel_ are you okay?!

**Azzy the Angel:** Do not worry, my dear. God had just seemingly put me into contact with another Principality? He is quite polite and nice I must say.

**Crowley the Demon:** Isn’t that a big egoistical since he is literally you

**Aziraphale the Angel:** I have caught you crooning at yourself in a mirror, saying how incredibly handsome and incredible you are. I do not think, you have much room to say the same for the other angel.

**SnakeInMyPants69:** ouch

**SnakeInMyPants69:** Really? In a mirror admiring yourself AND being caught by the angel

**Aziraphale the Angel:** Neither of you have much room to say anything, especially with your poor grammar skills. Have you two not heard of a comma or period? I know my nemesis has said he does not enjoy reading, but for at least my sake, please. Pick up a primary school book, maybe you will learn something useful.

**SnakeInMyPants69:** ANGEEEEL! This one is mean

**Azzy the Angel:** Well I really do not disagree with him. I must say he is direct and correct.

**Crowley the Demon:** HEY

**SnakeInMyPants69:** OI! *Are you betraying me my hubby?*

**Uriel the Archangel:** Hold up, hubby?

**SnakeInMyPants69:** Alright, this is bloody enough. I’m making a seperate group before Hell catches wind of this

**Michael the Archangel:** No, no, no. Stay and explain yourself!

**SnakeInMyPants69:** Lol no I’m just gonna mute this server byeeeeeee

**Gabriel:** Aziraphale explain yourself!

**Azzy the Angel:** Which one of us?

**Aziraphale the Angel:** Which one of us?

**Gabriel the Archangel:** THE ONE THAT HAS BEEN FRATERNISING WITH THE ENEMY!

**Azzy the Angel:** Apologies, I must excuse myself. A customer has entered the shop and I must not get distracted!

**Aziraphale the Angel:** Apologies, I must excuse myself. I have a report to write for my own superiours.

**Gabriel the Archangel:** GET BACK HERE!

**Sandalphon the Archangel:** They aren’t coming back any time soon, are they?

**God:** Nope

**God:** Nope

**Michael the Archangel:** Wait, why had you added another one of...you?

**God:** One of us is Her, that you all know

**God:** The other is Him, that was asked to join by Her and add the other two

**God:** Good luck figuring which one is which though

**God:** And the ones caught using the wrong pronouns will either be smited or sent Downstairs

**Uriel the Archangel:** Oh, no.

**God:** OH,

  
 **God:** _YES_


End file.
